Tag Archives: people

Another Successful; NO MEAT MONDAY!


NO MEAT MONDAYYa know, I do not miss meat too much. I could handle not having meat more than one day a week. I might think about that and see what God guides me to do. I thought I would feel yucky or weak, but I don’t. My friends make fun of me and pick with me, because they have no interest in giving up meat, at all. But I just keep telling myself it is my resolution, not theirs. Actually, I am used to people picking with me about how I eat. Since I do not eat beef or pork in the first place. People usually think it is a religious thing, but it is not. It is a health thing. I feel bad when I eat meat. I just do not digest it well. Even now, it has been so long since I have eaten them now they really make me feel awful. I do not make Luis and Isaac suffer to bad though, every once in a while I make them some beef something. Just like the only day, Luis said he wanted some pulled pork sliders, so I might go ahead and make those for them. I will just have salad or something! 


I have started to listen to some teen upbringing faith-based CDs in my car now. I am also listening to what his counselor is saying, and I will be damned it is working. The past 2 days in this house have been so much better than normal. I have learned how to stop robbing Isaac of his consequences, and letting him see for himself what happens when poor decisions are made. I can not believe how good it feels to come home and my house is not trashed and the living room is not a mess. It is small things like that make me happy. I have learned how to use the saying ‘No Problem’ and walk away. I did that for the first time tonight and it felt so good! Of course, it got him curious as to wonder what that meant, but I do not explain. Just respond with ‘No Problem’…We shall see. I still have the homework assignment that the counselor gave me, I have to make a list of the household rules. Even the ones he breaks, so that should be fun! Not! The great thing is that his counselor is a believer and speaks about scripture with him. He talks to him and not at him, which is what the others have done. I am really hoping that this helps because he will be in the real world sooner than I know!


On a brighter note, we have decided to get a puppy! I am so excited to get a puppy and begin training and get walking to the park again like I used to with Bo. It is to young yet, he cannot come home for 2 more weeks. But I am posting his picture just so everyone can see how gorgeous he is! A friend of mine at work has a neighbor friend that has them. Of course they are not pure bred puppies, but who says a baby in this house needs to be pure bred? We are all mixed in this house! I am going to go start shopping for him this week and get ready for him. And I will need to call the vet for an appointment to get his little jewels clipped off 😦 Sorry, not having any illegitimate children over here! But, we are all excited. I am sure I am more excited than the guys, but who cares 🙂 He is a cutie!





Yesterday was a real light day on food, I have not been feeling 100% the past few days. I had some cereal for breakfast, then Luis bought me some Hawaiian bread and I had some coffee, and for dinner I made my ‘famous but not really’ mac and cheese 🙂 It is just ground turkey, diced onion, diced tomato, seasonings, and then make elbow noodles and Velveeta for the cheese with some milk to make it smooth. They liked it. Well, Luis and I liked it, Isaac has to complain of course because there was tomatoes in it. Boo-Hoo…Not sure when he started hating tomatoes but I suppose he has…I also had 2 sugar cookies that I forgot to take a picture of, oops.





1.13.2014Today I ate more, but I still did not feel any better. I think I feel worse actually, but I do not tell anyone, but Luis. I had some oatmeal and cinnamon apples for breakfast. This is quickly becoming my favorite breakfast item of all time! Since it was No Meat Monday, I had to make a different lunch. I had PB&J, cherry tomatoes, cookies, and a yogurt. But for dinner I started to experiment. I cut up onion, sweet potato, and carrot in a pan and cooked it. Then I added scrambled eggs and spinach and avocado at the end. It was super good! I sprinkled some shredded cheese on it, but honestly I did not even need to do that it was good without it.

I have not been to the gym in 2 days though and that is killing me. I literally feel fat when I do not go. I know I have not gained any weight, but I still feel like a big blob when I just sit on my rear. I have to make sure I go tomorrow, I can not allow my sugar to get out of whack because I want to be lazy!

Well…until next time…


Do You Really Exist?


The title can be addressed to anyone, or anything for that matter. Last night I took Isaac over to my mom’s house so I could sort of have a ‘come to Jesus’ party, with me being the only invited participant. I needed to get my life in perspective, which you might think would be a difficult thing to do. But, not so much when your life does not involve a lot in the first place. Having the private time to myself I found out some very disturbing things about myself. I have not changed so much, not as much as I had originally thought. I am a fool to think I have changed so drastically just because I am a Christian. And furthermore, I hate to say it, but I say that loosely. I daydream about being in a relationship, I overindulged, I cuss from time to time, and last night I realized that there are so many things I am doing that do not glorify God I am surprised He is still being so patient with me. I would not hold Him accountable if I were one of those people sucked into a sink hole with no notice at all.  Watch the news if you do not understand that comparison.

Here is what I have to say; like me or love me. But here goes.

I want to wake up and you be the first thought on my mind, I want to go to bed and you are the last. I want to feel safe in your arms knowing that they will never hurt me. I never want tears to fall when you leave, because I know without a shadow of a doubt, you will be thinking about me while you are away. Or better yet, when you realize I am upset, you do not leave me. You simply hug me, kiss my forehead and stay. And truly, you are never gone from me. I want to be able to close my eyes and feel your lips on my cheek. If you get called away for some reason I want to know without a doubt that you love me, because your love never fades. Love me unconditionally. If it is storming I want to call your name at two in the morning and you come to me to make me feel safe. I want my son to look up to as not just a role model, but a leader. A father, his father. A lover, my lover. A provider, our provider. A husband, my husband. I want to be happy. I want to have a smile on my face whenever your image comes into my mind. A smile that only you and I know what it means, because no one else matters. I want to feel secure. If a dilemma comes up, wait; when a dilemma comes up, I want you to take control. Because that is what you promised me. You made that promise and I am taking you up on it. You may have made it to others as well, but I am taking you up on it. People tell me not to challenge you, but if I don’t then how do I know you exist? If I do not ask you prove yourself to me then how can you ask me to do anything for you? I think it is only fair in the long run. Sort of like tit for tat. I know you have a sense of humor, otherwise there would be so many things that would never make sense in this world. I need to laugh, you make me laugh. I need to smile, you make me smile. Even though I hate to cry, you make me cry. But the tears you make me cry, make me stronger. I can cry just fine in private. And once I do, I do feel a million times better. But the emptiness is still there.

I need the emptiness to go away. Will I ever be okay with where I am now, or am I short-changing myself, on purpose. I want to be happy, and as soon as I thought I was…it is gone. What can I do now? Suffer through it and hope and pray things change? What if they never do. Do I slap on a smile, every morning for the rest of my life? I am not sure if I can do that.

So distressed right now.