Jan 3, No Fancy Title Needed…

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Today has been one of those days…ughh, so glad it is coming to a close. Well, for starters the house is down to one car for a week. Luis needs some work done on the truck and it is parked until we can get it into the garage to get repaired. That is just a stressful situation in itself. The not knowing of it all.

But, to add more to my plate. When I walked into the office this morning it seemed like every time I turned around someone else went home sick, or just did not come in at all. I ended up doing someone else’s job today and did not even touch my own responsibilities. Which just made a difficult day, a bit more unbearable. I tried to stay positive at least because everyone was stressed. It is hard picking up slack, from others. But, we did it. We all prevailed and made it through, like a team should! I just have allot more work now that I need to do over the weekend to get caught up to where I am supposed to be.

Things are not better between Isaac and I. He is not listening to me and being so rude and just plain unkind. I took away the laptop and have no intentions of giving it back to him. But ever since I did that, he has acted like a total jerk to me. I finally called his counselor today and asked him to please call him and speak with him. He said he would, so we shall see. At least he is not breaking things, or pushing me around right now. So, for that I am breathing a sigh of relief. All I did today was come home from work, clean my office, and stay in it. I have not even been out in the main house with him today. I figure the less we around each other, the less opportunity he has to fight with me. I am at a loss when he cycles like this. One stupid thing can set him over the edge. I do not want that happening again right now.

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As far as food and exercise, there was not much. I missed the gym this morning and I ended up eating my breakfast from the QuikTrip because I wanted coffee. Luis came to my job and took my from the wrath of hell so I could go eat LJS with him. Then I calmed my tummy with green tea and had Ramen for dinner. Very bad day for a diabetic, but tomorrow is a better one. I do plan on going to the gym tomorrow!

I am excited about going to see the new baby of the family tomorrow. Luis’ sister had a baby girl, and I get to meet her tomorrow. I am excited, I have not been around so many babies in ages. His family has lots of babies in it. Just more that need little cuddles. I love them. It is when they start talking that it all goes down hill…

I rearranged my office today. I needed my peaceful area back. And I got it. I can concentrate, listen to music, light my candles, use my yoga ball…whatever I want to do. It is my area after all. At least for now. Until Isaac decides I do not need it or deserve it and comes in and mucks it up. I am not being mean when I say that, I am being realistic. It is not a question of whether it will happen, but when it will happen. I know him that well.

Until next time, quite simply because I am tired…

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2014 can just Keep Going at this Speed!

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1.2.2014Another fantastic day is coming to a close for 2014! I am enjoying them while they are here…First of all, I woke up in time to go to the gym this morning before work. An early 530am peddling the ol’ bicycle is not for everyone but I love it. When I got home Luis and Isaac were still sleeping and the house was still. I showered, made me breakfast of ground turkey sausage, diced onion, diced peppers and scrambled eggs. I put it in a bowl and headed to work at 730am.

Got to the office and I immediately got started on a long going project, but it is very quickly coming to a close as I am wrapping it up too. I called Luis and found out that Isaac was mad at me so I was getting the silent treatment. God is blessing me with a teen boy who does not want to talk to me! Amen! haha, ok that was a little meanie buttish I understand. But I do not cave to his tantrums at this point. Not anymore 🙂 So, came home and swapped cars with Luis and got our lunch together so we could all eat. I ended up making turkey sausage links, cheese and broccoli noodles, and carrots. Back to work. Check the ol’ email and find out that the award that I have been pushing for our company; we won it! I am so excited! So excited for my company, I am so glad to be in a job that finally respects my work and lets me do what I am good at!

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By the time I got home tonight Isaac was well into his silent treatment so it has panned out to be an excellent night. I got a lot of work done online and picked up a new writing gig on oDesk for some good money. My writing is actually taking off really well, so that pleases me even more. I made me some basic roasted veggies for dinner, I did not want anymore meat after lunch! Just some sweet potato, onion, and carrot mixture. I dust them with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and EVOO; then bake them for 20-30 min at 350 degrees. They are super good. I am becoming delightfully addicted to sweet potatoes!

Wrapping up my day with a cup of hot green tea with honey and my laptop…neither of which have seemed to have let me down lately 🙂 I am just continuously praying for good days. I am doing great with not arguing, and sticking to eating sensibly, watching my sugar, and staying focused on work. I have realized it is a daily struggle and one I need to equip myself for each and every day. On that note, I am going to go curl up in bed and wait for my sweetheart to get home from work. Another great day to come tomorrow. I cannot wait, I just cannot wait!

Until next time…

2014, Off to a Good Start…

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1.1.2014So, I have officially ate moderately smart and went to the gym for the entire year of 2014 so far! Yeah, Me! Just kidding…But seriously today was a pretty good day all in all. Let me recap my day…

For breakfast I broiled some diced sweet potato and then sautéed them with some diced onion before I put in some scrambled eggs. That with some coffee was excellent.

Then for lunch I just made some regular old macaroni and cheese, with turkey dogs, and sweet corn in it. That to with some water, was the bomb!

Then dinner…once Luis came home from work. I wanted to go out and have dinner rather than cooking. So, we decided to go to the thrift store and buy some new/use clothes because ours are not fitting the same anymore 🙂 Then we all headed over to AppleBee’s. We all shared spinach/artichoke dip and then I had some chicken with a creamy sauce, spinach, and rice with mushrooms. It was actually a nice way to wrap up the first day of the year. Oh and by the way, this girl had water with lemon for her drink!

I am so excited about what the New Year has to come. I have begun the Bible Daily, reading a bit daily and at the end of the year I have read the entire Bible. That has always been something I have wanted to do, I need to finish it this year. Even though I had to read it in the bathroom today for the quiet, I still read it 🙂

We ended the night at the gym. Luis went with me, even after working all day. He is so good to me, and for me. Because of him I was able to get through what is normally the worst time of the year, the holidays. I am so glad Isaac loves him and looks up to him the way he does. It is hard to believe he does not have any children of his own, because he snaps Isaac together when need be. He is bringing our family together and building us stronger. With both of us working hard, for us, we will only continue to grow stronger.

Bring it on 2014! I am ready for Ya!

 

Am I Ready for 2014 ??

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At this very moment I would have to say; Yes! My life is great and I am loving every moment I am in it. Luis is the sweetest and most caring man I have ever been with and with him around Isaac is actually calming down significantly. My house is far from perfect, but it is much better than it was last year at this time.

So, a little recap from 2013 and what to expect in the new year. I am no longer on medications for diabetes. I control it with diet and exercise only. Thank God for that! I could have never done that on my own. So, I make sure that I get to the gym and I eat right. By eating right I mean still no beef or pork! Yes, no beef or pork for me. Luis still eats it, and sometimes Isaac; but not me. I am to the point now where it makes me sick if I eat it.

I am still at TNS and actually have a new title this year. I have worked hard to get where I am and now I am loving it even more. The company really values it employees and that is a main reason why I stay. I am now the SEO and Web Media Presence for the company and I am finally doing what I love to do. Write!

Luis is working so hard at his company, working late and doubles for extra income to help with the house and bills. He really makes sure we are taken care of and that I do not need to stress myself over all the bills alone. I am not used to that just yet, but I am enjoying it that is for sure. He is working two jobs right now and with that he works allot during tax season.

Isaac is in high school now! Actually attending a public high school this year and doing pretty good! He finish the first semester much higher than we expected. He did great on the finals and he is proud of himself too! Which is a great thing, his self-esteem is a huge priority of all of ours right now.

I have a plan for the New Year of sharing in my blog some of the exercises and recipes I am using at the house. Some things I try and whether they work or not with my glucose levels. I think it is important to share the information so that other people can benefit from it as well. I am really enjoying my experimenting with food when it comes to this. I try new recipes allot and Luis sure does not mind the new foods to try either. We both like to try new recipes!

Well; I am out for now…Be back later; 2014 is proving to be a great year and it is not even here yet!

Today I Celebrate…Me.

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Today is my birthday. It should be a day for me to celebrate and rejoice. And it has been! I have not updating in a while, so I will be skipping a little here and there. I am dating a great man now, named Luis. And while I sit here I think back to previous birthdays and realize that indeed this is the first birthday  since I have been in Texas that I have had a man to celebrate it with. Ten long years. I have been on dates here and there, but never actually had a man that I could spend time with and share things with. Now this year I do, and I am so blessed from it.

I woke up in his arms this morning and just was so thankful, so peaceful. We sat there and talked, laughed, and joked this morning. I made all of us breakfast and we just relaxed. Isaac got ready for school and then I just stayed in his arms, not wanting to leave. I feel so secure. But I know in my heart that I have to be responsible and go to work, even though my birthday should be a national holiday…in my opinion!

I reluctantly went to work and was greeted with a birthday card and a gift from a good friend of mine. I was convinced everyone was going t forget. But every time I turned around someone wished me a blessed day. They even celebrated the birthdays for the month today, on my day. So I selfishly thought they were only singing to me even though it was also for 4 other people! HeHe…My boss lady even got me a gift from Bath and Body…some great scents of lotions and body washes.

At lunch time, Luis shows up to take me to lunch at an awesome Chinese place. We both love to eat Chinese! It was a really cool place to. I had never been there, but I was glad we went, if was excellent. And I will not even see him again until tomorrow technically because of the hours he works at his job.

After work; I got home and then it was time to go get my nails done. My day just keeps getting better and better. Not only did I need them done really bad, but they were not busy at all and I was able to get the girl I usually have to wait for. She is super good and knows what she is doing.

All in all it has been an excellent day…Even Isaac has been great to me. God, thank you for all You have blessed over me. I feel overwhelmed and so very loved.

Happy “Mother’s” Day ??

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Well it is May 12th again…When card and flower sales sky-rocket so every person on the face of the Earth can buy a gift for the one woman who gave them life. Or for the ones who raised them, when the actual birth was not theirs to enjoy. Either way you look at it, this is a pretty two-sided day for most. Far to many of my friends no longer have their mother by their side to love and hug, or to tell them how much they mean to them. For them my heart hurts today. Others no longer speak to their mother due to some stupid, petty argument from years ago that neither side can remember. For them I feel pity today. And for the women that were pressured into an abortion by a non accepting society rule to where their option of being a mother was ripped from their grasp. From them I feel so much sorrow.

But one feeling I do not have today is love for my own biological mother. Wait, now before everyone gasps in disbelief. You are about to learn a little about Kristina that you never did. I keep so much of my history a secret, mainly because of shame. But since I have found the love of God, I have no shame anymore, only a past like everyone else. I do not try to call my mother, send her flowers, gifts, or even a card because she gave up on me. Literally. She signed me away to the foster care system where I was basically tortured until I turned 18 years old and ‘aged out’ of the system. I was treated worse than the animals you see abused and cast over the television screen trying to raise money for the ASPCA. She never cared. When motherhood was ripped away from me not once, twice, but three times while in foster care she never came to my side. I only heard from her about two years ago when I found her on FaceBook of all places. I sent her a message apologizing for whatever it was that I did for her to throw me away. Telling her I forgive her and I still love her. The message I got back was astounding! She tells me that since she gave me up my brother has since died, and she still wants no contact with me. The next day I went to look for her FaceBook page and she had blocked me. Again. So, you see, even as a child she turned her back on me. So, I had all the reason in the world to allow God to find me a replacement.

And He did. He introduced me into a family of Love, Caring, Understanding, and Fellowship like I had never in my life known. He brought me into church by the hand of a 10 year  old boy, Isaac. I met many people there, but only one I was so lucky to have fallen in love with as a child would a mother. I love her children as my siblings, and her grandchildren as my nieces and nephews. It may sound silly, but I would do anything for this family, that opened their arms to me and accepted me and my son with all of our flaws. They love us unconditionally and that is what family is all about. She helps snap me back into reality when I begin to drift, she helps me pray when I just do not have the strength, she makes time to listen to me even when all I want to do is rant. That is what a mom does.

I thank God daily for Tish Hughes and her loving family. And to her I say Happy Mother’s Day!

My Facade…

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I am a 36 year old single mom of a teenage son. That is the label I have in life. Somewhere along the line I lost my name and became ‘Isaac’s Mom’. Which is a position in life that I love, but it often makes me think, where did I get lost in the transition? When did I lose me? When did I stop striving to be the nice, comforting, rescuer of my friends that I want to be so badly? There are several things I need to reevaluate in my own life, questions I need to get answered. I have been lost for so long, and I have noticed a severe case of depression overcoming me lately, and that scares me. Scares me so bad, sometimes I am afraid to even be around other people. Because I do not want other people to know what is going on in my head.

I try to put on this facade that everything is okay, but on the inside I feel like everything is so hopeless and I have no other option but to give up. Sometimes I want to throw my hands up in the air and just sleep my days and nights away. I have tried to dive into the bible, dive into God’s Word for His help. But, I still feel this emptiness that takes me over. There are people who tell me that there is nothing in my life that Jesus has not experienced and been hurt through. I just find that so hard to understand, Because of some of the things that have happened lately, I do not know of anything in the bible that covers the pain I am feeling. I know He experienced a broken heart, pain, torture, and all of this while He was being crucified for me. That is what makes it even worse for me to feel the way that I do. Because I feel like I have no right to feel depressed, Jesus died for Me! Seriously. How dare I feel sad!

I want nothing more than to be happy. But it seems like it is so far away and not sure if it will ever happen. I have never really been in love before. I have never been on a date, I have never felt the butterflies in my stomach when a man I love surprises me. I have never heard the words I Love You from a man who I actually knew that they were sincere. I am so lonely, it physically hurts my body and heart. But for now, I wait until God brings me the man that will lead me.