Just a Mid-Day Rant…Better to Write than Speak Right Now.

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I swear no matter how hard I try…I end up hurting. After so long, I really feel like I do not deserve to be happy. Just when things seem as though they are going great, another road block is thrown in there. Maybe it is not a big deal to anyone else, but I like to be told I am doing things right once in a while. Thing is I never hear it. My kid obviously hates me for being a parent. He has already had his daily cussing me out fit, slamming doors, and calling me names. Then just when I think I am doing the right thing, Bam! I get another guilt trip card played against me. I just feel like nothing I am doing is good enough. I can really relate with those people that are at their breaking point and they just want to give up. I pour everything I have into others, with…what in return? I have not heard thank you once all day, actually been waiting to hear it. Not a sound. I just want to crawl into a hole and stay there for a long time. Maybe until Jesus comes and takes me home. I am so ready. I used to be afraid to close my eyes, thinking I would some day not wake up. I am not afraid of that anymore. Haven’t been in a while.

Until next time…

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