or just beginning? I am not sure which one at this point. I have literally been out of it from this medication. It better be working because the toll it is taking on my body is incredible. I feel like I am going to vomit all the time and have to sit down more than stand up. It can be a real challenge to take care of my house and Isaac and feel like this all the time. I actually took a nap after church today before I went to out Life Group, I never do that. I have not went on a walk at all today with Bo and I feel bad because now it is too late at night to go. So he has to wait until tomorrow. He will be fine, but I feel bad because he loves walking with me every day. They say I take these shots 14 days on and 14 days off, I hope they are right because it has been rough to say the least. Enough about that 🙂
I had a great time at church this morning and even a better time at out Life Group. I cooked a big crock pot of chili and everyone seemed to like it. It was good because it had turkey in it instead of beef. It is always iffy to introduce turkey to people when they do not expect it, but I have to eat healthy so they should too 🙂 I love my Life Group family, the women actually layed hands on me tonight and prayed for healing in my body. I am so blessed to have such great people in my life.
Tomorrow signifies a new start and another day at work for me. I do not know if I am ready for this or not, especially with being off for 3 days now. But regardless, I need to be. I am going to go in with my head held high and not listen to any negative words from this people. I was given good advice to find just one thing good about each of them and praise God for giving them that trait. I can entertain myself with that tomorrow I suppose. Or, I can put my headphones and listen to the bible being read to me over the computer. Who knows, maybe they will have some amazing Godly transformation and come to work in a great mood and loving life; yeah, I doubt that one.
So, just sitting here while it is quiet and I have time to myself I love to think back at myself a few years ago. And I have noticed the more nights that I sit here and do this the less and less of my past I can really remember. There are certain things that I have replaced in my memory, like the death of my father. I tucked that so far into my memory that it became a distant dream to me. I literally only remembered his death in my dreams, in my sleep. But not anymore. I am beginning to replace the awful memories of my mother with the wonderful memories of the short 4 years I had with my father. Those 4 years were better than the many I had dealing with an absent mother who just rejected me. I used to try to tell myself that it is her loss, but now I find myself praying for her salvation. I worry about her, because I know she could not be aligned with God and still refuse to speak to me. It just can not be. That is just my babbling I suppose.
Well with sugar of 202, I am going to bed. Good night and God Bless.