Well this is the first blog I will do with the Dragon speakeasy program that I got for the computer. So there’s no telling what it will print; because I am going to control the entire blog by voice only with no key or mouse strokes. Actually I am glad I don’t have to type this blog now because I am actually Furious right now. Not with Isaac; he has done absolutely nothing but be a wonderful son. And not with myself either; I’m doing the absolute very best that a mother can do.
As everybody knows Father’s Day was this past Sunday and when we went to the service on Sunday it was of course all geared towards the father’s that were in the sanctuary. Which was a wonderful display of love towards others that were there. But it just solidified the fact to Isaac that he does not have his father around. There were several tears that were cried in the sanctuary and I continuously explained to him that having his father around him would not be beneficial if his father is not a Godly man; which he is not. We are both trying to adjust to the idea of being okay in ourselves as Christians; accepting and embracing the fact that God is my husband and Isaac’s father for the time being. This is until God chooses an earthly replacement.
Nonetheless I attempted to contact his father through Facebook; this was after I had asked his mother and his aunt and his other son several times to have him contact Isaac. I just sent him a message that was very basic and very blunt telling him he either wanted contact with Isaac or he didn’t giving him the option one more time to have contact or just simply close the door on this chapter so that Isaac can heal. Because the problem is Isaac still has it in the back of his mind that his father is the epitome of perfection that can do no wrong. I know better than this but I have kept a lot that Isaac’s father has done from him; and I guess in the long run I shouldn’t have. But to me being his mother, I just thought that he was entirely too young to know the truth.
Since his father still chose not to contact Isaac two days later I have decided to tell Isaac the truth on why we are not together as a couple. His father and I live completely different lives; and the only good thing that ever did come out of his father and I; was Isaac. Isaac did not do anything wrong in this situation but I feel like he is the one that is being blamed. And that makes me livid! Because of the simple fact his father knows exactly how he and his family treated us. I will not go into details online of what him or his family did to us; but they all know.
I just want to close this by saying first of all a father is not a father that owes $10,300.76 in back child support! A father is not a father that has not paid a payment to child support since November 29, 2010 in the amount of $40.00! The problem is he is not even mandated by court to pay that much money a month to help with the cost of Isaac; but I truly think that even if the judge said he only had to pay five dollars a month he would still not pay it. Isaac’s father is the epitome of selfishness not the epitome of perfection. He has always looked out for himself and not cared who he trampled over to get anywhere he needed to be. I have never considered my son a mistake and will never consider myself a mistake; the only mistake I made was choosing a lousy father. But I’ve been told that Jesus died for my sins and He forgave me for my sins. And as long as I believe that and give God all the glory I think that Isaac and I will be just fine; without his father in the picture.
God bless you; Kristina
PS: Dragon speakeasy works wonders!